Air and Water
by StatsGrandma57
Summary: Han and Leia explore their attraction to each other, why they're perfect together, and what it is that makes intimacy a challenge.


AIR AND WATER

by: StatsGrandma

LEIA:

He is water.

Water is essential for life in all of its varied planetary forms. It constitutes 70 percent of the galaxy, as it does for individual humans.

I watch as he tinkers with the Falcon. When we're not trying to get out of a tight situation because the hyperdrive has failed yet again, he possesses a nearly Zen like calm as he works with his hands. To the casual observer, he is a happy grease monkey.

He tells jokes with his friends, many of which are not repeatable in polite company. He's always up for a game of sabaac, and he'll calmly bet the spaceship on a smashball tournament.

He's a hail fellow well met when in public. Leadership is something he wears easily and naturally and he doesn't appear to take it too seriously.

He would give the impression that he is a rather shallow pool.

That impression would be wrong.

The sparkling hazel eyes are merely the shallows near the shores. Once past them, the water rapidly becomes deeper, and at times, darker. Han's emotions are bottomless, and he guards them carefully. His passions are always roiling beneath the surface, something very few ever witness.

He chose me to not only witness, but to be engulfed by them. I was terribly frightened at first. I had been groomed to be self contained, constantly in control. My destiny, as I understood it, was to be that of service to my world and to my galaxy. A private life was never discussed. I was duty bound. There would be no room in my world for the deep waters of private passion. I'd defined myself as my father had defined me.

And then, the tsunami struck.

The first time it hit me was at the awards ceremony, where I was to give Luke and Han their medals for valor. I remember Han's face, looking around as if he didn't know quite why he was there. But then I placed the medal gently around his neck, and he looked up at me...

And winked.

It took everything I had not to melt into liquid at that moment.

Later that night, many liquids were consumed, in vast quantities. It was late and I was feeling more than a bit tipsy when Han came over and asked me to dance.

I didn't want this to happen. I needed to push these feelings aside, because I knew that if I gave in, I'd drown. Drown in a deep ocean of love, unable to navigate the waves.

He smiled at me in such a way that it was impossible for me to refuse. I stretched out my hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor. We danced. I thanked him and rushed away, my mind a storm of feelings.

I couldn't allow myself to be dragged away in the undertow.

For the longest time, I avoided him as much as possible.

He took it as a challenge, and he'd show up everywhere that I was. I told myself that as soon as we'd moved operations to Hoth, he'd be gone and that would be that.

But he didn't leave. And he seemed to delight in taunting me like a schoolboy.

Some schoolboy.

Any notions of that vanished the day we were doing repairs on the Falcon. He had come over to assist me and, not wanting to fall further into the undertow, reacted with my typical hostility.

He wasn't buying it. He took my hand, and I began trembling in fear of going too far into the depths. And when he kissed me, it became apparent that I was so far in over my head that it was pointless to continue to deny how I felt about him.

Today was the death of the space station. It was near twilight, and then suddenly, there was a great burst of light in the sky. Han looked at me with those beautiful eyes of his, and I knew then that I would swim with him forever.

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HAN:

She is air.

No one can breathe without air. The composition may differ in places, but without it, everyone and everything's dead.

Including myself.

Before her, I was living pretty good. My life consisted of playing sabaac, getting drunk with my smuggling buddies, and transporting illicit goods for big bucks. It was a lifestyle that allowed me plenty of time and money to goof off, which worked for me. No entanglements. No commitments. Just good times and decent pay.

I felt empty sometimes, but Alderaanian ale in sufficient quantities would take care of that. There was the hangover the next day, but I could still outrun Imperial ships with my head throbbing and my mouth tasting like a Tauntaun.

And then, I was boarded. And Jabba wasn't in a forgiving mood. I was totally screwed and was having a hard time breathing; if something didn't get me out of this mess soon, I'd have no need of breathing. While drowning my sorrows at the cantina in Mos Eisley one afternoon, I was approached by an old man and a kid about a transport to Alderaan. They were paying good bank and I figured I was home free.

What was supposed to be a quick and easy transport turned into the most incredibly life changing event. I couldn't have even imagined.

Because of her.

I think it was when we were back on the Falcon that I felt my breath hitch in my throat. She had the power to suck out every bit of air in my lungs.

I found that I needed her near me to breathe at all. I ended up staying on for the revolution that wasn't mine, to be near her. Not that she didn't leave me sucker punched for what felt like forever. I'd follow her about, trying to feel alive.

I realized the life I'd been living wasn't living at all. I'd been dead inside.

And then, there was the day in the circulatory bay. She'd been having trouble with a latch, and I came down to help her. She pushed me away, but I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I pulled her close.

I had never been so breathless - or so alive. It was like fresh oxygen pumped into my entire body and the soul I didn't know I had.

Threepio does not know how lucky he is that I didn't dismantle him permanently.

Fortunately, after that, she kept kissing me, and loving me, and...well, other things.

That she wakes up next to me is what gives me breath every day.

Like air, she is a force that cannot be contained. Air gives her the fire that drives her, conflagrates her passions. She can be a gentle breeze or a gale force wind, and believe me, I've experienced both. She is the most exciting, passionate, complicated woman I've ever known.

A look, a touch, and I'm alive again. I can float away with her to places I never knew existed in me.

Because of her, I live.


End file.
